• me: time for bed
• stomach: LET'S EAT 15 CHEESEBURGERS WITH ICE CREAM CAKE AND POTATO CHIPS WITH AN ENTIRE TACO BELL ON THE SIDE
• brain: HEY REMEMBER ALL THOSE WORRIES, IDEAS, ASPIRATIONS AND OTHER ANXIOUS THOUGHTS WELL NOW YOU DO
• muscles: I HURT FOR AN UNEXPLAINED REASON LIKE ARE YOU GROWING DO YOU HAVE A DISEASE LOL IDK HELP
• skin: LET'S PLAY A GAME CALLED ARE YOU ITCHY OR DID A SPIDER EGG SACK JUST BIRTH ON YOU
• ears: THERE'S A JET PLANE 500 MILES AWAY ALSO I THINK THE NEIGHBOR IS VACUUMING
• eyes: WOW EVER NOTICE HOW IF YOU LOOK CLOSELY INTO PITCH BLACKNESS YOU CAN ALMOST SEE YOUR WORST NIGHTMARE
• mouth: IT'S DEATH VALLEY UP IN HERE
• body: HAVE FUN TOSSING AND TURNING FOR THE NEXT 2 HOURS
• me: ok

humansofnewyork:

“If you could give one pice of advice to a large group of people, what would it be?”
“Disperse. If you’re in a group, you’re a target.”

Someone please tell this to American students abroad. Please. 

corgnelius:

Corgnelius sploots for equality.

kittiesandbullshit:

i don’t like / kanye west

kanye just keeps asking for cats in all his songs, it’s too easy

• me: wears pajamas
• me: showers
• me: changes into clean pajamas

YES. THIS. YES.