- me: time for bed
- stomach: LET'S EAT 15 CHEESEBURGERS WITH ICE CREAM CAKE AND POTATO CHIPS WITH AN ENTIRE TACO BELL ON THE SIDE
- brain: HEY REMEMBER ALL THOSE WORRIES, IDEAS, ASPIRATIONS AND OTHER ANXIOUS THOUGHTS WELL NOW YOU DO
- muscles: I HURT FOR AN UNEXPLAINED REASON LIKE ARE YOU GROWING DO YOU HAVE A DISEASE LOL IDK HELP
- skin: LET'S PLAY A GAME CALLED ARE YOU ITCHY OR DID A SPIDER EGG SACK JUST BIRTH ON YOU
- ears: THERE'S A JET PLANE 500 MILES AWAY ALSO I THINK THE NEIGHBOR IS VACUUMING
- eyes: WOW EVER NOTICE HOW IF YOU LOOK CLOSELY INTO PITCH BLACKNESS YOU CAN ALMOST SEE YOUR WORST NIGHTMARE
- mouth: IT'S DEATH VALLEY UP IN HERE
- body: HAVE FUN TOSSING AND TURNING FOR THE NEXT 2 HOURS
- me: ok
“If you could give one pice of advice to a large group of people, what would it be?”
“Disperse. If you’re in a group, you’re a target.”
Someone please tell this to American students abroad. Please.
Corgnelius sploots for equality.
UMMM… NEIN… DANKE….
kanye just keeps asking for cats in all his songs, it’s too easy
- me: wears pajamas
- me: showers
- me: changes into clean pajamas
it has come to my attention that robert pattison quotes are hilarious, because he has reached a point where he is no longer trying to pretend he is serious.
YES. THIS. YES.